Ambrose Winston 11/1/2002 - 9/4/2009

Almost a week ago, we lost a very dear friend.

Our Boy. Our Puppers. The Dude. Ambrose.

Although I have lost loved ones in my life I fully admit that I was not as close to those loved ones as I was to our Ambrose. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t cried over the sudden loss of our boy. He was our first baby. Anyone who says that our pets are not like our children has either never had a pet and/or never had a child.

That being said, the grief that I have felt this week scares me as I know that it is only a fraction of what I feel if I were to lose a parent, my husband, or my child.

On top of my grief, it hurts to see Chris so upset. Ambrose was his boy more than he was mine.

To hopefully bring some closure for myself and maybe others who also loved Ambrose, I have written down all the things I hope he knew while he was still with us.

• I loved watching you bound around outside in the snow. If I could have I would have made it snow everyday just for you. You are the only one who may have loved the snow more than me.


• I loved seeing your face at the back door waiting to be let inside.


• I loved how you rarely barked to be let in. You just patiently waited. Trusting us to know when it was time to come in.


• I loved the way you would greet us when we walked in the front door.


• I loved the way you would dramatically pretend you were just too tired for the last leg of our walk. And then when we arrived home, you would run around outside and play with apparently tons of energy. Sneaky puppy. I am sorry that we didn’t have more walks so they could end that way.


• I loved the way you got excited if you saw me put on my tennis shoes or your dad or I grab your leash.


• I loved the way you patiently allowed Ana to climb all over you. You never complained.


• I loved the way you would sit under Ana’s chair and wait for her to share food with you. Which she always did. It never occurred to her to not share with her Boy.


• I loved the way you would sometimes purposely scare the crap out of Mauri and chase her upstairs.


• I loved the way you would torture Raven by sniffing his butt.
  I loved the way you would force yourself in between our legs so we would rub your back and butt.


• I loved the way you would push your dad over in bed so you could have more space. It didn’t seem to matter that we bought a king size bed just for you. You still wanted more space.


• I loved the times you blessed me with your presence on my side of the bed. I wish I had been able to stay in one position longer just so you could have stayed longer.


• And I loved the rare times you would force your way between me and your dad in bed so you could put your head on his chest and allow me the pleasure of petting your butt and back.


• I loved the way you always treated a trip to the vet or the groomers as a mini-vacation. You were never scared. Well sometimes you didn't want to be left at the groomers. But you were always happy afterwards.


• I loved seeing you prance around after you had been groomed. As if you were the most handsome puppy in the World. Oh, by the way, you were the most handsome puppy in the World. But you obviously already knew that.


• And lastly, I am so sorry that we couldn’t be there to hold you when you passed. I hope you knew that we loved you very much and had we been able/allowed, we would have stayed with you and held you till the end. I wish we had been given the chance to say Good-Bye to each other. That is the very least that a Puppers as perfect as you deserved.
  
  Great, now that I am in a total mess of tears, I bid any reader Adieu. Hopefully my next post will be a happy one.