Where to Begin...

Well a lot has happened since I posted last.

First off, we celebrated a HUGE day for the Picchi family. That would be Ana’s 1st Birthday!!! We can’t believe she is already one. Where has the time gone? And to think it will continue to go this quickly. It makes me a little teary eyed just thinking about it.

We kept the birthday party low key. Just me, Chris, Nana Mary, Aunt Lisa and Abuelito. And of course the guest of honor. We had cupcakes and ice cream. (Cupcakes that I must point out Chris and I made. Well, I baked some cupcakes from a box but Chris decorated them to create a caterpillar. It was super cute.) Ana opened presents and that was pretty much it. It was nice and it was so adorable to watch Chris and Ana open all her presents together. I will post some of my favorite birthday pictures as soon as Chris is done loading them up.


Now for the other big news. Ana is going to be a BIG SISTER!!!! Holy Cow! How did this happen? Well, I know exactly how (and when if anyone is interested) it happened but still. Let’s just say that our mothers were not kidding when they said it only takes once. This was not planned but we are super excited. I always said that I wanted two kids close together in age and it looks like we are getting just that.

I admit it took me a little while to be excited about our new little Solo Ranger (a nickname I will hopefully explain another time). I was shocked (proven by the three pregnancy tests I took before I would believe it). I’m unemployed and we don’t know where we will be financially when this little one gets here. It’s a little overwhelming to think about but we are working on it and should have a solution to report fairly soon.

And then of course I looked at my little girl and mourned the fact that our time alone would be short. I’m afraid that she will feel replaced and that I won’t be able to give her the attention she deserves. I know logically that she will be fine, that we will be fine. I know that every mom with more than one baby probably feels this way. But it doesn’t take the fear away and it doesn’t stop me from wondering if I can handle it. I did find a beautiful essay (author unknown) that made me feel better and that has helped the fear subside a little bit. I figured I would share it with all of you. Any ladies reading this may want to pull out the tissue…

Now I that I have written all this I guess not A LOT has happened. Just two really big things – LOL! Two really wonderfully big things…..

Till next time...


Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can’t, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply.

I love you both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Author Unknown