Johnny Cash, Superman and the Catholic Church

Let me try to explain how those three things relate….

So 7 years ago our friends began having children. Often a birth is followed by a baptism. Out of the 18 or so children our friends have had over the year (yes I said 18….what a fertile bunch) we have attended three baptisms. After the first two, I made the decision that I would never attend another one again. Let me tell you why.
First let me just begin by saying I don’t agree with infant baptism. I believe baptism is a way to show your dedication and I am sorry but a baby can’t make that decision. But that is what I believe. Most others believe differently and I try to respect that. That is why I attended the following baptisms. They were significant days for our friends and their children and I wanted to be supportive in their beliefs and share in the celebration.

Baptism #1
If memory serves me correctly this baptism took place in a Methodist church. I was fine until the minister began to speak. The entire sermon was dedicated the late Johnny Cash (he had just passed away) and how spiritual a man he was. Um, seriously, are we here to learn about God or are we here to listen to a eulogy for Johnny Cash….who I might add couldn’t sing for shite but that’s a blog for another day when I discuss Bob Dylan and James Taylor. This was annoying. But again, this wasn’t my day. It was our friend’s child’s day. The baptism took place. Not too bad all things considered…..and then they did something that boggled my mind. They passed the baby around the congregation. I wanted to yell, “NO, NO!!!! You don’t know who these people are! Don’t let them touch the baby!” I don’t care how nice a church is, you can’t guarantee that all the people there are nice (or clean for that matter). Yuck, yuck, yuck! So my first infant baptism was not great. Not terrible. But not great.

Baptism #2
This one took place in a Catholic Church. I probably could just leave it at that but I’ll elaborate. I don’t remember much except for the fact that the Priest flat out said (and I am only paraphrasing here) that any child not baptized in the Catholic Church is not a child of God. Excuse me?????? Who the hell do you think you are? I’m sure that the Catholic Church with its fear tactics is the only right church to baptize your child in…..oh wait. No it’s not. So after that experience, I looked at the hubby and informed him that I will not be attending another infant baptism ever again. If I were to get royally ticked off, why bother going?

But then Baptism #3 came along….
Our friends who had their first child after years of dealing with infertility were baptizing their beautiful little baby. They sent an email asking if we would be interested in attending. Well, this was a huge day for them and their baby and we wanted to be there to celebrate for them. So I broke my promise to myself and we attended the baptism. This took place at a Lutheran Church. I had heard the jokes before but wow Lutheran really is Catholic Light. Who new? Well the baptism was nice. I didn’t agree with most that was said but the minister/priest (not sure what you call it there) seemed very nice and personable. The sermon was actually about God (imagine that). I missed it since I was in the nursery feeding the kid, but apparently there was a Superman and Jesus analogy. But all in all that was the only overly odd thing about the service. In the end, I still don’t like church. But…..this experience made me comfortable again with putting my beliefs aside momentarily so that we can support our friends.

Now, don’t get me wrong. The likelihood of me ever entering a Catholic Church for anything other than taking pictures or to pass gas is slim to none.